00:01:51 Michelyn.com (MIKE-uh-lin): Bon jour! 00:06:17 amy palatnick: Wendy and AJ! 00:06:41 amy palatnick: are you together? 00:12:47 Brenda: self-love is accepting where i am without justification, guilt or judgement 00:13:06 amy palatnick: having compassion for and openness to all parts of ourselves. Giving ourselves the same focus, gentleness and attention we would give another. Appreciating our personalities, bodies, idiosyncracies. Being on our own side/team, not against ourselves. Bringing awareness to our inner relationship: how we speak and think about ourselves. 00:13:25 Izzi Beaulieu (she/her): Our capacity for compassion, respect, courtesy & consideration turned inward. 00:13:29 Michelyn.com (MIKE-uh-lin): It feels like a zingy hug from my heart to my all 00:13:37 AJ Frenzel: Deep acceptance, kindness, patience and forgiveness to my soul and my actions. 00:13:44 Lara Storm: Self love is forgiveness and acknowledging that I operate in the world with the tools that I’ve been given. 00:13:51 AJ Frenzel: Care and appreciation for this body I live in 00:14:03 Randa Sultan: loving on, being kind, caring and compassionate with/to myself. Acceptance ALL of me, treating myself with love 00:14:08 Lisa Scott: An embodiment of accepting self No matter what feelings and thoughts we have 00:14:14 Alta Felix: Self love looks like honoring my truth and holding myself accountable for my desires 00:14:19 Barbara Daughter: Knowing that I am valued and inextricably connected to the interdependence of all beings in the Universe. 00:14:38 Michelyn.com (MIKE-uh-lin): In practice, it is the ability to look at myself objectively when stuck, and normalize, appreciate, shift, have faith, be good enough, celebrate, and worship myself 00:14:49 Nell Reid: accepting who I am and who I am not and being true to that. creating time/space for things that soothe me and creating time/space for things that feed my soul. setting clear boundaries to protect mysef 00:14:58 amy palatnick: love that barbara! 00:15:12 MaryAnn McNulty - She / Her: Stewardship of my body, mind, emotional, spiritual health and path. 00:16:40 Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): o What have you been holding back from because of not enough self-love? 00:16:55 Izzi Beaulieu (she/her): Restoration and Joy = trying to get all the things done at all costs, including to my health & emotional wellbeing. Yikes. 00:16:56 MaryAnn McNulty - She / Her: Not setting boundaries where I could/should for fear of backlash/repercussions. I know that these boundaries would be an act of self love but there's is that "false safety" of protecting myself from the potential backlash. 00:16:57 Nell Reid: doing my PT exercises to heal my knees 00:17:56 MaryAnn McNulty - She / Her: Izzi…thank you…seeing the COST of not setting these boundaries. 00:18:01 Barbara Daughter: Not honoring time constraints and how I can best spend my time 00:18:09 Michelyn.com (MIKE-uh-lin): I do have negative self-talk more than I would like. Constant vigilance to catch that--with love 00:18:18 amy palatnick: developing my curriculum for my offering--but turned that around yesterday in a coaching session with Joli! 😄 00:18:36 AJ Frenzel: Entertaining my self-doubt. 00:19:31 Alta Felix: when i start feeling guilt for my choices 00:20:19 Kelly Lubeck (she/her): signs: I get more critical of self and others - and life - b/c I'm not well resourced internally 00:20:23 Nell Reid: feeling not-enoughness in any area 00:20:23 Brenda: not setting boundaries, not pausing and checking in to see if I am in alignment with agreements I make with others — saying yes without checking in 00:20:29 Randa Sultan: when I get stressed, or snappy. When I question my decisions or when I drop into comparison with others 00:20:40 amy palatnick: Frantic, scattered, moving too quickly, doing too much too fast. Hiding, making excuses to be alone. 00:20:41 MaryAnn McNulty - She / Her: Pit in my stomach...feel like I am tolerating things and settling and it grates against my being. 00:20:48 Barbara Daughter: yes @Randa — “snappy” 00:21:22 MaryAnn McNulty - She / Her: Yes….Snappy McSnapperpants. LOL 00:23:53 Barbara Daughter: Love that Izzi — embrace of our humanity! 00:24:04 AJ Frenzel: Yes Izzi! Self love vs. ‘self-care’ 00:24:26 Aiyana McKenzie: Izzi, yes. And wow your power and grace are shining through stronger all the time! 00:24:37 Layne Mosler: Yes, Izzi - there’s def a connection between (lack of) self-love and seeking perfection 00:25:35 Izzi Beaulieu (she/her): Thank you Barbara, Layne and AJ. <3 I have to remind myself all the time that I am a human being and not a machine. haha. 00:25:54 MaryAnn McNulty - She / Her: I would love to ask a question about self love with clients…for some reason I am unable to raise my hand. 00:27:41 Michelyn.com (MIKE-uh-lin): Yes, Anna! Sometimes it's uncomfortable to take on self love! 00:27:44 AJ Frenzel: Anna- so beautiful. That really resonates for me. 00:28:07 Melissa K: Loved that, Anna 00:32:55 Barbara Daughter: female comedians = expected to be self-deprecating 00:33:04 Michelyn.com (MIKE-uh-lin): Amy, that's why I'm in a Self-Appreciation Group! So unfashionable. 00:33:34 amy palatnick: i think it's also related to sexual repression 00:34:07 Carla Sanders: YOu may have covered this while I was indulging in self love, aka self care? and do you make a distinction between self love and self care? at least for this coaching context. 00:34:41 Aiyana McKenzie: I think so too, Amy. 00:35:27 Aiyana McKenzie: Barbara, I have noticed that most comedians are self-deprecating. I see what you mean 00:35:50 amy palatnick: Yes, so much comedy is just being mean to self and other. BLEGH. 00:36:11 Barbara Daughter: Emphasis on competition too 00:38:20 Aiyana McKenzie: Yes, Barbara. All about the competition instead of collaberatoin 00:38:23 amy palatnick: Judeo-christian guilt and shame in our DNA 00:39:03 amy palatnick: we all think we are too much or not enough. 00:39:44 Aiyana McKenzie: Big time, Amy. Yes (Judeo-Christian guilt) 00:40:01 Angela Stringhini: I think self love and self care is harder for men, it is stronger culturally for them not be strong and never show a need for it . What are your views on this? 00:41:22 Alta Felix: self-love means always listening to my feelings 00:41:24 amy palatnick: what if I'm wrong and I'm not as great as i think i am 😄 00:41:28 Layne Mosler: How can I justify loving myself if I’m not being true to my purpose? 00:41:37 Brenda: What is the difference between self-love and self-care? 00:41:44 Michelyn.com (MIKE-uh-lin): With you on that, Amy. 00:41:54 Carmen Miranda: If I love myself too much than I will really show up in my power and light and that might make other people uncomfortable or mad at me. 00:41:55 Barbara Daughter: Self-love means forgiving myself INSTEAD of holding myself accountable 00:42:18 Randa Sultan: it's egotistical. And it's selfish... means I don't care for others in the ways they ned 00:42:21 amy palatnick: Carmen, yes! 00:42:27 Aiyana McKenzie: That 'self love' is somehow selfish in a toxic way. This is just programing to be a martyr, but it still comes up for me. I feel shame when I shine in the presence of others. 00:42:28 Angela Stringhini: Self love means for me to accept who I am totally and completely 00:43:26 Randa Sultan: it's earned... 00:43:32 Kelly Lubeck (she/her): oh, yes, Carmen! 00:43:38 amy palatnick: I was lucky to feel very loved as a child. 00:43:39 Layne Mosler: Yes, Randa. 00:43:40 Brenda: I'm loveable if I do X. 00:43:52 Michelyn.com (MIKE-uh-lin): It's safety. Someone will take care of you if you are lovable. 00:43:53 Carla Sanders: The belief: my "self-love” is dependent on others. I feel my self love when others love and approve of me. 00:44:02 Kelly Lubeck (she/her): You must do a lot and give a lot and smile a lot and not make others uncomfortable. 00:44:02 Carla Sanders: I’m loveable when I am good. 00:44:07 MaryAnn McNulty - She / Her: Love is conditional on meeting someone else's needs. 00:44:13 amy palatnick: I’m lovable because i’m smart and get along with people 00:44:21 Aiyana McKenzie: I was taught I am NOT lovable and that it is evil if I love myself. 00:44:24 MaryAnn McNulty - She / Her: Still working on unlearning that from past trauma. 00:44:36 amy palatnick: (((Aiyana))) 00:44:48 Barbara Daughter: {{{{Aiyana}}}}} 00:45:06 Aiyana McKenzie: I was taught I can be at least of value to others if I am perfect and work like a slave to serve others. Still detoxing from these beliefs 00:45:09 Barbara Daughter: Lovable = nice 00:45:11 Carla Sanders: this question is a search light on self-love stuff. 00:45:16 Aiyana McKenzie: Thank you, Amy and Barbara. Love you too 00:46:39 Randa Sultan: when that happens I feel like I need to justify my needs or prove myself more 00:46:56 Carla Sanders: The people I live with. I don't feel that they love and value me. And I am pretty sure it's an inside job. I have to hold myself in that space or they'll go along with my program. 00:48:23 Jen Youngquist: I was taught that others are dangerous and that It's unsafe to open up to them 00:48:41 Kelly Lubeck (she/her): I think i've been taught to not love others who are different from me / us - but my love POURS out - I can't help how much I love people! 00:48:55 Michelyn.com (MIKE-uh-lin): I grew up with boys so cracking a joke was always fun and loving. Now, most of my adult girlfriends feel offended by that so I have to watch myself! 00:49:01 Izzi Beaulieu (she/her): I was raised to expect betrayal & abandonment by others. "You can never rely on people", which became a self-fulfilling prophesy. 00:49:03 Tina Dowdy: same Kelly :) 00:49:08 amy palatnick: I grew up on my father’s pedestal and my sister and mother were down writhing in the mud. It's been a lot of unlearning and reckoning with this. 00:49:22 MaryAnn McNulty - She / Her: When I tried to show love within my family it was rejected. So I learned to hold back. 00:49:24 Aiyana McKenzie: Yikes, I was taught to judge others (though “christianity" is supposed to be about love). I was taught to think non-Christians and 'sinners' were destroying the world for everyone and deserved condemnation. I did not accept this and turned it around to loving and defending the 'sinners' and judging the ‘christians.' 00:49:45 Aiyana McKenzie: Wow, Amy, that's big stuff 00:49:54 amy palatnick: Aiyana, if only people really took to heart Christ Consciousness. 00:50:10 Randa Sultan: Ohhh Aiyana... that resonates too with respect to some uber religious teachings... 00:50:36 Aiyana McKenzie: That is interesting, Michelyn. I'd love to learn your sense of humor! I can be way too serious, and I LOVE to laugh 00:50:57 Carla Sanders: Love everybody but judge the hell out of them 00:51:41 Carla Sanders: and personally, love has strings and conditions 00:52:20 Aiyana McKenzie: Amy YES!!! I have been practicing implementing that for myself for decades. It is interesting that most of the ‘christians' in my family saw this deeper love as ‘evil’. This is where a sense of humor and compassion are life saving 🙂 00:52:53 Barbara Daughter: I’m picking up what you’re putting down, @Carla 00:54:35 Randa Sultan: they have come from a place of disempowering - wow... hmmm... so interesting to see it this way 00:57:30 Izzi Beaulieu (she/her): @Barbara...YES!!! There is not enough of that intersectional justice & framework within the Industry and it is so critical to chop off those Hydra heads. 00:58:10 Michelyn.com (MIKE-uh-lin): OMG Aiyana, yes. I so get this! 00:58:23 Izzi Beaulieu (she/her): Aiyana...Sovereignty is my new favorite word...the concept of self rule and mastery 00:58:27 Barbara Daughter: This conversation is inspiring me to return to creating my curriculum “Painting Beyond Patriarchy” … not sure if I’ll use that terminology in my marketing … lol 00:58:30 amy palatnick: Control-Alt-Heart 😄 00:58:54 AJ Frenzel: Amy!! 😍 00:59:00 Michelyn.com (MIKE-uh-lin): Amy! 00:59:19 Barbara Daughter: So so true @Aiyana! 01:00:47 Aiyana McKenzie: Painting beyond Patriarchy appeals to me, Barbara 01:01:56 Barbara Daughter: <3 Aiyana 01:02:33 Carla Sanders: Painting beyond patriarchy language belongs somewhere in your marketing. 01:02:50 Barbara Daughter: Thanks @Carla 01:04:05 Barbara Daughter: I see self-acceptance as critical in moving the needle towards change, with less turmoil. 01:04:17 Carla Sanders: You mean my adult children's problems are not because I was never on time? whew. 01:05:13 Carla Sanders: Because I love myself, I make a point to color my hair. 01:05:41 Aiyana McKenzie: Yes, Barbara, love/true acceptance from the heart is essential for growth/change/evolution 01:05:42 Carla Sanders: reframing Joanna. I do not color my hair. Too much trouble! 01:06:54 amy palatnick: the part that has a hard time keeping client sessions to their contained time! (boundary issues) 01:07:04 Annelise Pesa: is not accepting and not liking the same?? 01:07:23 Kelly Lubeck (she/her): Oh, Amy, I'm with you! It's been a lot of self-dialogue these last couple of weeks! 01:07:52 amy palatnick: @kelly, i'm SOOOOOO much better at it now. but i think i judge the part of myself that struggles with it 01:07:59 Aiyana McKenzie: I have not been accepting having illness, chronic pain, chronic fatigue. I have not been accepting how little I am able to do. I have not been accepting how little money I make and how far I am from my goals, desires and dreams. This non-acceptance also has a great deal of shame, which takes the fun out of things 01:08:00 Carla Sanders: I have a lot of parts I don't accept. They are not physical. They are self-judgments of aspects of my character or my flaws or failures. 01:08:03 Anna Robinson: I've always felt that we can't really make changes to the things that we don't “like" or “want" until or unless we accept them the way they are currently. Because we can't change from a place other than what is 01:08:35 Carla Sanders: Second by second. 01:08:38 Carla Sanders: in and out 01:08:39 Aiyana McKenzie: so true, anna 01:08:50 AJ Frenzel: I’m the mom whose kids show up late to the party and without a gift. Hard to accept 01:09:15 Kelly Lubeck (she/her): Yes, Anna 01:10:50 amy palatnick: Last night, I ran around my dark house hiding from knocks on the door. Halloween Grinch! 😄 01:11:23 Layne Mosler: Amy 😂 01:11:30 Kelly Lubeck (she/her): Amy, I'm trying to imagine your happy potter self as Halloween Grinch! lol 01:11:39 Barbara Daughter: lol @ Halloween grinch 👻\ 01:11:44 Randa Sultan: @amy haha that's awesome.. 01:11:54 Joli Knott: Thanks for making me smile, @Amy 💜 01:12:35 Anna Robinson: Also what we judge and reject in others is also what we judge and reject in ourslves 01:12:41 amy palatnick: OMG the real story is hilarious. i can barely tell it because i laugh too hard. 01:14:23 amy palatnick: barbara said that! 01:16:16 Randa Sultan: What to do with a client if they don't inherently believe what you just said... you are wonderous/deserving of inherent value just because you are/you exist 01:16:20 amy palatnick: I use mirror gazing sometimes when my self-love tanks. i look into my own eyes, the windows of my soul, to reconnect to my true, higher, deeper, greater, self. 01:16:43 Joli Knott: Mirror work is so powerful! 01:19:26 Kelly Lubeck (she/her): My clients love telling me that they spent time hugging trees! ❤️ 01:19:57 Kelly Lubeck (she/her): Yes, Amy, love this so much. I need to get back to that. Love guiding others into it, but it's powerful - alone or with another. 01:23:02 amy palatnick: i think of this like posture. you can cure depression and posture will change, or you can change your posture and cure your depression. i think working with the physical (ie self nourishment) is easiest! 01:23:37 Aiyana McKenzie: Lol, Amy, Tom, Seth and I also hid from trick-or-treaters last night! We had some good laughs about hiding from hordes of sugar-crazed manic children 01:24:22 amy palatnick: shameless self-promotion: my upcoming offering is called Pleasure Bootcamp!! 😄 01:24:33 Alta Felix: I have to run- as always, thank you!! All of you for bringing your full selves to this container <3 01:24:42 Aiyana McKenzie: Blessings to you Alta! 01:24:52 Joli Knott: Bye Alta! 01:26:58 Joli Knott: Tapping into the magic of meta-consciousness 01:27:00 amy palatnick: Aiyana, yes! this is the main pleasure hack!! slowing down, breathing, being present. <3 01:27:28 MaryAnn McNulty - She / Her: Love that, Aiyana. I have often used my shower as an opportunity to visualize and clear my chakras, be present, and do my "energy hygiene” for the day. 01:28:45 Aiyana McKenzie: Amy and MaryAnn Mmmm… yes, yummy. I love the chakra cleansing in the shower, MaryAnne. and yes, Amy, slowing down, being present, breathing changes EVERYTHING all day long 01:29:16 AJ Frenzel: Aiyana-beautiful. It’s that power of AWARENESS of the things we are doing, and maybe shifting the way we are BEING toward ourselves in the moment. 01:29:34 Aiyana McKenzie: yummy, yes, AJ 🙂 01:30:08 Anna Robinson: I've got to run. Thank you everyone! Feeling very grateful for this thoughtful and intentional community of beautiful heart-led women <3 01:30:23 Joli Knott: This is a quote I come back to a lot around this topic: Two birds, inseparable companions, perch on the same tree, one eats the fruit, the other looks on. The first bird is our individual self feeding on the pleasures and pains of this world; the other is the universal Self, silently witnessing all. (Mandukya Upanishad 3.1.1) 01:30:39 Barbara Daughter: that’s so beautiful @Joli 01:30:44 Kelly Lubeck (she/her): Love that, Joli. So beautiful. 01:31:03 Kelly Lubeck (she/her): Thank you so much, Joanna, and all. 🙏🏼