Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Welcome. Everybody good to see you
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): some moment.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Said the same thing on our
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): community. Call QA. Call yesterday. Because it's a holiday week here in the Us. I don't know how many of us will be here. I know it'll be the exact, perfect circle. No matter how many of us are here. But I'll give us like another 1015 s.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Before we get started.
Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): alright.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we're gonna start a little differently
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): today I'm gonna start by telling you a story through story time.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It is. You'll see. It's it is in many ways related to what we're gonna be taking a look at today
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and I'm gonna tell you this story with you helping me. And some of you have done this kind of story telling with me before. I'm gonna teach you anigoon a melody.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and we're gonna you know, with with your sound off cause it doesn't work so well with zoom, with all of us singing together. But no, we're we're all be singing together in our in our spaces. We'll kind of sing the tune, and then you'll know when to stop, and then we'll break it back in.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and the tune goes like this.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'll teach it to you, and then we'll do it together.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Lila! La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! La!
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Let's try it
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): lie! La Li lie the suit again. La, la, la!
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): This is the story of a tree.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): an itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny, sapling little tree, who found herself there alive one day. at first unaware that she was well short.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): she stood in all her Majesty, a daughter of the earth, connected to the mother beneath her, grateful for the day in front of her, happy to be her
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): lie lie lie la Li la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la!
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And so it went day after day, night after night, until one morning, as she was greeting the sun, the little Tree looked up
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and realized that she was not alone.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): She noticed 3 other trees not too far away from her, just a little bigger.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): just a little taller than her.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Oh, my! The little Tree thought
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'd like to be that tall, too. Well, it won't be too long now, more than a day or 2, until I'll grow to look like that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And it was in that very moment that our tree first felt that beautiful. that glorious, that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): pressure filled feeling of wanting to fulfill her potential
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): la Li la la, la, la! La! Well, 2 days later the little tree greeted the morning, expecting to be much taller.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and to her dismay she found that she was exactly the same size as before, and she looked up to those 3 other trees and found.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): but they were even taller. even stronger
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): than they had been before, and could it be? Their branches held fruit?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Well.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you may know how it went from here. and
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): T. Bitty voice was activated in the teeny weeny tree.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and it went like this.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What is wrong with me? I must be cursed. I am just not good enough.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Why can't I grow? My life would be so much better if only I were bigger, taller! If only if only I were better! If only I were richer with fruit.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): then my life
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): would really begin.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Li lie lie la Li la la la la la la Li lie lie lie! Lie!
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And so it went until the tree decided that she could force herself to grow. She took a deep breath
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and began to push. She pushed and pushed and pushed.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): but nothing happened. She didn't get any taller, though she was truly exhausted.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And so she pushed.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and she pushed, and she pushed again so hard that one of her delicate, beautiful
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): branches broke right off and onto the ground.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and that itsy bitsy voice inside of her, which was no longer itssy, bitsy, but loud and strong, it said.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What a failure
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I am.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I can't get anything right.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And those other bigger, better trees they must be laughing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): at poor little me!
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And there she was alone. dejected. frustrated.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Now
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): this is when our little tree
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): gave up on pushing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): she was so tired
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that all she could do was be, and wait, and wait and be. And so she waited
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and waited and was, and in that waiting and being she took care of herself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and waited, and was, and tried to love herself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and waited and was.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): She waited some more until one morning she woke to greet the sun and notice
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that the view was different.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Could it be?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Oh, yes, it could.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The view was most certainly different.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The tree had grown so tall. so strong
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): during the night
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that she could look down and see
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the tops of all the other trees
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): lie lai lie la Li la la, la, la, la, la!
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, deep breath in
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): an owl.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So we're gonna come back.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So that's story. We'll use it as a little bit of a backdrop for our time together today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): which is all about
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): being in the mystery and letting go. And I'd love to first just hear
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): a share or 2 on what resonated for you from that story.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What resonated for you what felt important for you?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You'd like to share.
Susan Hagan: Never know how to find this. I always forget how to find the thing. Thanks.
Susan Hagan: it first of all, Brava well told, and I love that that inclusiveness of sharing the song that's really
Susan Hagan: that really feels like it enriches the togetherness of it. and it's just it's so easy to see how absurd it is with a little tree. You know, to feel bad about not being taller. And it's just it's that provides a real contrast to how it feels inside. So that's a great metaphor. Yes, yes, how often are we, you know, feeling bad and making our seal selves feel bad for not being
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for not being like this one or that one. And I love the word you use. Absurd. It's like when we see it from the outside. Right?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, of course.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Thank you. Yeah. Susan Engel is seeing in the chat, letting go alright. There. There are moments and seasons for doing more.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and moments and seasons for letting go
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): anyone else want to share what? What resonated for you from the story? What did you take from it?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Feel like there's one more share out there. What felt important.
No.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maria.
Maria Chowdhury: I love the
Maria Chowdhury: the song and the metaphor.
Maria Chowdhury: and how Susan just shared the absurdity.
Maria Chowdhury: And then, so I almost didn't really want to say this, but at the end she was taller than everybody else, so she felt good.
Maria Chowdhury: But I guess I guess there's a part of it. It's like.
Maria Chowdhury: what if she didn't have to be tolerant? What if she found that she was just like a part of an ecosystem, and her place was fine when she's little and she's fine when she's big, and that be the winning end of the story rather than I win, because I'm over you. And so that was kind of my piece is like, oh, I almost didn't want to speak because the story so beautiful.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): My ending wanted a different ending. Yes, so no, I'm so glad you're speaking to it, and every time I tell the story there is always someone who shares that or shares. But what if she really still wanted to be tall? But she waited, and she wasn't in the end, too, right? There's so many ways the story can end in beautiful ways for sure.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yes. and it's so true, right? We don't have to be the tallest. And we're gonna kind of talk about that today, too. Yeah,
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Susan Larkin is saying, the letting go and the just being felt important. Yes, and Christian is saying the fighting and fighting until she couldn't anymore, and surrendered, and the surrendered gave the surrender gave way to growth. Yes, and Jessica saying the fact that she wasn't alone. Yes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so these are all themes that we're gonna be diving into before we do. I realize I was so excited to share the story because II always get excited to share this story that I forgot to mention one logistic thing before we jump in.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So let me just make sure. I mentioned that some of you probably have all seen the invites so far via email. But in case you're like me, and you don't open up
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so email that you get for weeks until weeks afterwards. I just wanted to remind you that on December fifth we have for this cohort of sacred depths a next steps. Call, A lot of you have been asking about advanced depth.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and I'm going to be sharing on that call all about advanced depth and also a special
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): private pricing, just for your cohort going into it. And you know, I'll just. I'll get into kind of all of the nitty-gritties of the program, and how we can continue working together if you want to. Once sacred depths is done, which is
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): soon many of you have already. Rsvp, and you have emails on it. But I'll also just pop the link in the chat. If you want to. Rsvp for that call.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So we are with this this call today kind of starting our last
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): stretch
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): of our 10 months together of sacred deaths. Our first unit was our foundational skills.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Our second unit was lots of different skills and tools and techniques around supporting clients with obstacles.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Fear, resistance, thought patterns, self sabotage, etc. We're gonna continue with all of that. But in a different way. In this third section of the program, which I think of as
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I don't know a combination of
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): just bonus issues a lot of things that you are not. I mean, already we've covered so many pieces that you're not going to see in other places, but things not traditionally, always spoken about in practitioner trainings and a little bit
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): spiritual isn't quite the right word. But we've been looking at this all along. But specifically, in this last
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): section of the program kind of more universal truths
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that I think are really important for us as practitioners to be thinking about and supporting our clients with.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And so today we're looking at being in the mystery
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and letting go. And
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): in coaching we tend to speak a lot
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): about creating
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): creating new things and getting more done.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But and I think this is a mistake. We, the industry, rarely talks about not doing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and definitely, even more rarely does it talk about destroying.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We speak so often about more.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): but very rarely about less.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and about lost.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And the truth is that life, real life is about both.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's about creating. and it's also about destroying.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's about manifesting. And it's also about letting go.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's about more. And then sometimes it's about less.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And also, and I think in some ways, the industry has the most trouble with what I'm about to say next.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Real life is sometimes about clarity.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): but it's also sometimes about lack of clarity and fogginess. and not yet knowing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and to only focus on the one half
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and not the other.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is to not be able to meet the full range of our clients needs.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): because our clients are going to experience loss
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and destruction and less and lack of clarity. Right, for example, some of our clients are going to leave marriages or partnerships, or have the loss of a partner.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Some of our clients, when we work with them, are going to leave their homes or lose their jobs, or is going to be time for them to leave their jobs
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for some of our clients as we work with them. It's going to be time for them to let go of certain kinds of programming.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or have periods where they don't grow their business, but they pull back
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): because that's what's right for that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): As we work with some of our clients, they might experience illness or death of loved one.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or needing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): real space like a considerable amount of space before taking more action.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or making certain decisions, or getting clarity
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): on those decisions.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And as practitioners, it's so important for us to understand what all of this is about.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): not just about how it functions in human behavior, but also a little bit about the miss the nature as much as we can understand the nature of mystery
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and letting go.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): If we don't. then we become what I call push coaches.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): always pushing and prodding clients forward, instead of finding the aligned organic pace that our client is meant to be in.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And if we don't honor this whole other half of life that we're talking about, then we tend to bypass our clients. We tend to bypass
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): feelings that need to be felt, synchronicities, natural rhythms, and aligned decisions.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): a lot of the transformational industry these days is is about, push, push, push. go, go, go. And and so we've already looked at this and in little ways so far. But today I want us to look in a more focused way
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): at some of this. I mean, we could spend months. We're gonna just spend one call we're gonna get into it. The the call today, like the mystery itself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Is kind of cyclical like, it's gonna be a little mysterious. I like, I tend to try to have things a little more linear. But we're we're gonna kinda
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): be in the cyclical and the mystery today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So speaking of
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): cycles, you know, many of you already know about the cycles. Many of you have heard me share about the cycles. We've looked at cycles a little bit so far. In the program, and it's just wanna briefly name them and and name the seasons.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So we have spring, which is so much about new beginnings, starting new things right? We looked at this when we looked at the energetics of new things things are are starting to grow and bud and bloom, and there's an excite starting to get clarity on what's next, and set foundations to take action.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): There's summer season, which is about now settling in after the spring with the persistence and the consistence to grow right, to grow, projects, to grow, goals, to grow visions, to move forward in it
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): after summer
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is autumn time for harvest, right? We've worked hard in the summer, and then we get to pluck some of the fruits off the trees. Sometimes it's not the fruits we thought it. They would grow sometimes that the apple isn't as big as we wanted, right like. But there! But we pluck fruits or lessons we harvest.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We take a moment to pause, to enjoy.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to to really take in.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And then, after autumn is winter.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the silent night.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the long pause. the release, the letting go.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And it's a time for less 2.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Most of the modern capitalist world.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and I would say the coaching industry in step with it. Not always. And it's changing a lot from when I first started teaching this decades ago.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): but still by, and large importance and value is mostly put
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): on spring and summer.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and you know I'll share a piece, a big piece. A percentage of the work that I often do with clients is in healing from being misaligned with the rhythms from living their life, only valuing and trying only to be in spring and summer.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I see in the chat there's there's
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You're not finding the work feet. I'll ask. I'll make sure that they're there. They should have been there. I don't know why they they weren't put in, but I'll make sure that they get put in after class. I'm not gonna take our time right now to try and get in touch with my team. But let me make a note.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, does this make sense. So far
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'm going to talk a little bit more. I know I'm sharing a lot. and then we'll we'll pause.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Actually, no, let's pause here because there already that has been a lot shared so far. What's feeling important so far for you?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What are you seeing? That's feeling important here.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): either for yourself or your clients.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Anyone wanna share. I feel like we're in the winter. Silence on our call today. Amy.
Amy G: Hi, Joanna, thank you. Yeah. This is so so resonant with me. And what I'm seeing the 2 pieces come together for me is just
Amy G: this really aligns with how I live my life, which also is my practice, which also is my business and one of the same. So for me it just brings everything
Amy G: so much more
Amy G: in where the human meets the spirit, and that it just feels like it's life. And it's real. So it's not.
Amy G: It's breaking down that illusion as you were
Amy G: describing of kind of focusing just on one aspect and thinking. And we can all I can put my hand up to say that to get caught in that trap sometimes of like, it's all one type of thing. But to actually step back and realize, hang on like
Amy G: we're just, you know, going through these changes all the time and really honoring that. So for me, it's that really valuable reminder of
Amy G: to really flow and be and go with what is.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): even if it's kind of against maybe what sometimes the mind might say, or you know, because the body or one of those aspects are gonna jump in and kind of lead. At least, that's my experience of it. Really great reminder. Yes, absolutely. We're gonna definitely talk more about that. It's like we know it. And then somehow, it can. It's tough. Yeah, thank you.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Susan.
Susan Hagan: Yeah. One of the last things he said was most striking to me that and the idea that you know not just the coaching industry, but as society, we put more value on spring and summer, and so
Susan Hagan: a big part of the work to be done is healing from the imbalance that that creates.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You know, absolutely
Susan Hagan: right.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so important that balance that you're talking about.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Susan E.
Susan Engel: I find, too, that the winter season.
Susan Engel: And the darkness brings about so much fear. So it's learning to deal with so much fear that crops up with people that they don't feel when it's the summer and spring season. That's absolutely yes, we're gonna look more at that, too, because it can bring up so much.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, good. So as so many of you are already sharing, and as we're seeing we can't right when we're coaching, we can't just stay in the spring and the summer, and we have to watch
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for when a client is in an autumn phase, and where I want to focus today is really in a winter phase. And.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): by the way, the the phases don't have to last as long as a season of the year, right? 3 months. Some some growth phases can be many, many years, even right or winter, you know, whatever it is.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So what? When I say a winter phase, what do I mean by that?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So I'll give you a couple of examples. But a winter phase could be a Sabbatical. You're taking a Sabbatical from work.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): A winter phase could be a releasing of something releasing a marriage, releasing a home.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): releasing a job.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): A winter phase.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): might mean letting something die that is, in the process of dying as opposed to resisting it and taking the time to grieve it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): A winter phase might be taking rest
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right beyond just the the kind of consistent rest that hopefully, we're all taking at the end of the day and the end of the week right? But a a longer rest.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So I think we already know this in this group. But just to say, Why is it important to move into a winter phase, to consciously step
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): into a winter phase? Because when we don't
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we tend to end up being in misalignment?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Right? We're not. We're not aligned with what our bodies need, with what is really met next for us. We tend to make. If we're refusing to go into a winter phase when it's time, we're usually making decisions that are out of integrity for us
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and our souls and our psyches.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): When we don't consciously step into a winter phase when it's time for us, you know. As has been said, we end up doing too much. We get burned out.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We don't end up having the space that we need.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Sometimes we might step consciously step into a winter phase because we recognize that we need time and space to heal from illness or trauma, or some kind of life change
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or change in status.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Sometimes we're gonna step consciously step into a winter phase to have time to grieve. As I said before, sometimes it's because we
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): have an inner something on the inner is leading us to more simplicity for a period of time.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We don't feel like carrying so much, just like almost like the trees are like. You know what I need some time without the leaves, in order to get stronger right.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Sometimes we want to consciously step into a winter phase so that we don't end up settling for something instead of receding the ideal
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): in a situation.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Sometimes we're gonna step into a winter phase and let go so that we can create more room for other things to come in.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): All sounds simple and easy, right, however.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): as Amy said, and as Susan Engel said, I, even if we know better. It can be difficult to consciously step into a winter phase when it when it is the right time to.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And, as Susan said, it's usually because of fear.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): fear of missing out
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): fear of scarcity.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): If I don't take this opportunity right now, even though I don't have space for it. But if I don't take this opportunity right now. There's never gonna be another opportunity again, right? Or if I don't have more and more and more and more, I'm not gonna have enough security. That's one that I fall into a lot
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right if we have an addiction also to more.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But sometimes it's hard to step into a winter phase because of a fear of change
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or a fear of the mystery. We are a culture that is addicted to clarity and always needing to know.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But it's not always a time for clarity, right?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Some people have trouble consciously stepping into a winter phase
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): because of fear of open space and time.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What am I gonna find if I'm not so busy? Right? What am I gonna find inside of myself? Or if there's a fear of grief.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'm going to just grieve, and it's going to go on forever. And I'm going to be in the abyss, and I'm never going to be able to get out of it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): For some people it's hard to move into a winter phase because of the fear of letting others down. But I need to keep on doing all of the things. And I need write all of all of that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And then, you know, I said, we're gonna get like spiritual and universal and out there. So and just to say for some people
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): it's hard to step into winter because winter does represent death, and as a culture
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we are not in right relationship with death.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right? There's a lot of fear around it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And again, II this is like, these are hard things, even. Ii am teaching this, and also II have to work on this. So a few years back.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I it was time for me to take a sabbatical from private work. I know I wasn't gonna take a full sabbatical from my business. I was gonna continue with programs. But II really it was time for more space.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): For a bit I needed it for my soul and my well-being. I also recognized that my kids were in a phase where they needed more of me.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and it was so hard I cannot tell you how difficult it was for me. I didn't stop any of my private clients like mid program. I let people know ahead of time. It was coming. II you know we did it, but it was so difficult for me to do that because I didn't want my clients to feel let down.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I didn't want them to feel like you know, I was just disappearing, and all of that and that had some fear of scarcity. It more of like. Oh, my gosh! If I let everybody go, will there be people when it's when I'm ready to take on clients again.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And I actually, I ended up holding on to one or 2 clients during that time. Us for some of it was for aligned reasons. But if I'm being completely honest with myself, some of it was that fever.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): okay, so let's use all of this as a backdrop to look a little bit deeper first in in to in yourself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What's your relationship with letting things go? Take a moment and journal on that. What's your relationship with letting things go?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What's your relationship with letting things go?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And I'll I'll add a couple of things to think about as you're writing on this, what's your relationship?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): With surrender
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): with needing more also.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So what's your relationship with surrender?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And then leading and needing more also.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So I added on, yes, exactly, Jennifer, what's your relationship with surrender?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And then, as a separate question, what's your relationship with needing more or fear of scarcity. It's another way of looking.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that's one.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): There's some really great comments in the chat from before we started journaling. And I just I want to read Mika's out loud.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It feels like this, loops back to honoring what is yes, and embracing the wholeness and completeness of individual client.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): facilitating their recognition of their wholeness and completeness, regardless of their current, perceived place in their journey.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yes, big. Yes, to all of that I love how you put all of that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Here's another question to journal on.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what's your relationship with not knowing and being in the mystery? What's your relationship with not knowing and being in the mystery
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): sometimes with my business, when I know something needs to be in the mystery, and it kind of just like it needs to be put off. And and I'm just like I'm not gonna do it yet, because I don't know the answer.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'll create the space. But then I find in my journaling which is just supposed to be my journaling. For myself. I I'm trying right away to get the answer to it like I'll go straight to the taro to get. Give me the answer when I've already decided. I know it needs to be in the mystery for a while. Right? I just like. Still it can creep in.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Alright!
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): A few other questions. What's one thing in your life right now that you know is ready to die or be released? But you've been clinging on to it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and that can be. You know, it can be a relationship. It can be a type of ideal client.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It can be
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We have something else. But what's something in your life that you know is is ready to die
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or be released. But you've been clinging on to it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Next question.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): why have you been clinging on to it?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): In other words, what are you scared of?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Why have you been clinging on
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): next question.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what would you need
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to believe in order to let this thing go?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What would you need to believe in order to let this thing go?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'd love to hear a couple of shares on this. What are you seeing? That's feeling important.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and as always, I ask these inner questions, as you all know for you to you know, explore for yourself and for your own transformation, and also because there's such a range of human behavior right? Our clients are bringing pieces of this as well.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So it's always great to hear.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What are you seeing? What's feeling important?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What's coming through?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Who wants to share?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We all are quiet today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Boulder
jodigolda: I'd like to share about a past winter.
jodigolda: After I sold my business, and I just consciously stepped into that
jodigolda: a Sabbatical and dismantling my identity, and doing all the death ceremonies and the vision like just really letting my apartment, my car, my community, everything, go and went abroad and was just.
jodigolda: It was so hard I actually slipped into a
jodigolda: a low grade depression, with not having any purpose or relevance or significance.
jodigolda: which was all the things that I was super fearing of letting go of that that business. But I knew that I needed to do that in order to step into that next version of myself. So it was so hard. And yet I leaned in.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, I'm so glad you're sharing this one. Just it's such an important story, number 2 that it illustrates that it is hard, even when we've made the decision. And we're like, yes, I'm consciously going in. And I'm letting go of the thing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that does it
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): make it easy? I mean it. So long as we're not fighting against it. Right? That's easier. There's flow. But that still doesn't mean that there isn't
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): grief and and discomfort involved. And the other reason why so appreciate what you just shared, Golda, is
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): this piece about
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the significant, you know, I not feeling significant and relevant. And I know you know this and also it's a good reminder for all of us. Which is why I'm sharing it. And
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): again, what does
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): capitalism value, and what does capitalism not value? What are the messages that have seeped in? I am. I am of value. I am significant. I have this business, and I'm doing these things. Blah blah blah blah blah! You know all of that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And but without that I am not significant. There is no significance. II am not relevant. Right? We have come because
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): ideas like this are so
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): seeped into our culture that it's like they're part of our being. We forget to challenge them. We forget that that might not be true right? And so I bring this up? Number one, because I think the whole topic of today, similar to our call on perfection is A is like a resistance call, like, you know, like we are the resistance.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and I also pull it out, and we'll look more at this to remind all of us that it's so important for us to be using our listening skills, checking our filters when we're with clients
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and then using creating awareness skills and rewiring skills to support clients out of beliefs that they have just taken as truth.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But don't serve them.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Thank you for sharing all of that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Alright. Let's keep on going. While y'all were journaling I did find I went quick into to get the resource. We there's 2 resource sheets for today, but I just put in the chat a link to one of them. I'll make sure all of them get into the member center. But if you've been feeling like II need to look at something while we do this.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): That's there for you, and I'm sorry it wasn't in your member center before.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): How do you know if a client is in a winter phase, or ready to step into a winter phase.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We're ready to let something go. I'd love to hear some shares on that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What what should we be listening for?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Who wants to share? How do you know if a client is in a winter phase, or ready to let something go.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or resisting a wind turbine.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): They're fatigued, they're tired. They're burned out. Yeah. Exhaustion, heavy fatigue that's been ongoing. Hmm! Emotional fatigue.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What else you think of anything else
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): not feeling the same level of engagement, yes, or meaning around something they once were good. Yes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): sharing the reasons why they can't possibly step away. They're in such resistance to it, and they feel constrained. Yes. resent. They're feeling resentful. Yes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): One more thing I want to add to the mix is
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): sometimes not always, but sometimes someone is ready for a winter phase, or let something go
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): when they've tried every which way, you know, with their like, the the best of energetics. And it's just like it's not working.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, just not working. That doesn't mean that they necessarily are gonna let go of that goal or that vision forever. But it might mean that they need to go into a little bit of a winter phase with that vision.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I am
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): okay. So wanna spend a few minutes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): This is where I said, we're we're kinda we're not. We're getting a little out there, but not really. But I wanna spend a few minutes to share some. I don't know what I would call spirit. We've already looked at some to spiritual truths or universal truths, which, by the way aren't truth at all.
Unless you decide they are for you. Right? So I'm just, I'm gonna toss some of these, you know, kind of like pieces of wisdom
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): if they resonate for you, because.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): remember, one way of creating awareness on anything for a client wh. One way is by consulting right is by sharing some wisdom. And I find that this is one of those topics where, because the culture hasn't doctrinated in all of the other ways.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): there isn't necessarily a lot of wisdom around winter and letting go and mystery. And so I want to share some pieces for you to consider for yourself, and also to have in your back pocket for clients
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): number one in order for rebirth to happen.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Death needs to happen first, right metaphoric death. In other words. The spring always comes after the winter. It does not happen any other way. There has to be a rest
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or letting go of some sort at some point
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for more growth to happen.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Farmers that plow the fields know this every few years. They don't plow
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): a field, they let it wrap.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It need the earth needs that in order to yield later on right? And unfortunately, again, because of all of these belief capitalist beliefs.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we're doing less than that with the land and the earth, and it's it's reaping terrible consequences
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I am.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Here's another pearl of wisdom. If it resonates. You've heard me share this one before. Trees grow the most in the winter.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We think that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): there's nothing happening right? It's just like we don't see any leaves. We see nothing growing. It's just completely dead. But really, the during the winter, when there aren't the leaves and the fruits on the tree, it doesn't have to work so hard on the outer action to to have all of that grow.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It can focus its energy. That's when the roots strengthen the most and get nourished. The most is in the winter, so that the next growth can happen in the spring.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Here's another one. and this one is very easy to forget when we go into fear. The spring does always come.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Might be a long winter, but the spring does always come.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You know. I'm going through these pretty quick.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): next one.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Sometimes the best visioning happens right after the mystery.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So, in other words, when we allow ourselves to not know for a while in that darker place, the night right. When do dreams start to happen? Is in the nighttime, but we have to be willing to first step into the mystery and step in to the night time.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Here's another one that might resonate when things are full.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The universe doesn't see a place where it can give more or differently.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Right? If things are stuff. But you're wanting this other thing to happen.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): There might not be space for it to happen.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Here's another one.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and this one is, I think, a tough one, for especially for people that have privilege.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): you know, in countries that have privilege
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): there are moments to make do with less right. Not every moment is for more and more.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): There are moments to make do with less
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): a related one.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Better, to have less, but have it be aligned.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): then have more. but have it be misaligned?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Better to have less, and have it be aligned than to have more, and have it misaligned?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Here's another
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): piece of wisdom for practitioners and energy follow. I mean, energy follows energy on all of these, but especially this next one.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): My client is strong enough to withstand loss.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): This is an energetics piece.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right? If we don't believe that our client is strong enough to withstand loss, then how can we ever hold space for them to make a decision to let go of something
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that's not aligned anymore
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that make sense.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay, Jessica's asking me to clarify the better to have less. But have it be aligned then more than misaligned. So we can look to business as an example of this.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): You. Sometimes I see people go for like more and more and more programs or more and more people in a program, etc., and then it's like, you forget to like, actually
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): create aligned programs, or sometimes better, to have fewer people. But they're the right people.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay? So my client is strong enough to withstand loss. And then the next energetic piece. After that I, as a practitioner.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): am strong enough to hold space for lost
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and grief.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I can withstand holding space for my client on this
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so often. Practitioners shy away
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): from leaning in to everything we're looking at today because they're scared that they can't handle it right. There's such a deep discomfort with sitting in the shadows with somebody else.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): with sitting in somebody else's discomfort. that the reaction on the practitioner, the quick reaction is like not to go there. Let's let's go for the light, right always for the light.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and we want to build resilience so that we can sit in the shadows with our clients when it's the time for them to do that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Sometimes with some clients, I'll I'll drop the following thing because it it helps them a lot.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Sometimes it's easier to think about giving something up to spirit versus letting it go.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): giving it up to spirit right? So that it's not like a
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): just full on. I'm destroying this thing, but I'm letting something bigger than me do what's best
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for it with it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I think the last of these that I'll share for right now. And this is. it's so simple and it's so obvious.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But I think that even sometimes practitioners with the best of intentions. They forget this one because they are goal chasing with their clients so that they can feel better about themselves, and they can get their clients what they want and all the things.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But this is like one of my most basic philosophies in all of my coaching
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): health and well being. Above all else.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): period end of story. So what that means as an example for me, as a practitioner is when I see that a client
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): needs space, they need time to take better care of themselves. They're already over full.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I don't care if the most incredible next program idea comes up
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for them. I'm first gonna hold space for them to really consider if it is the right time
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): health and well-being always above all else, no matter what the goal that the client came to me, for
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): of the ones that I mentioned
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): if there was one that you recognize right now is important for you to remember most. Which one would it be.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Maria?
Maria Chowdhury: You're asking for a share?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah.
Maria Chowdhury: Okay? Well, like, Golda shared. Stepping through her experience, I stepped through midwifery.
Maria Chowdhury: And and so I would say, maybe not for all my clients, but for myself.
Maria Chowdhury: I felt like I was called to be a midwife like Force is bigger than me put me in the situation to be a midwife. So then, when it was time for me to step through and no longer be a midwife, it felt like forces bigger than me
Maria Chowdhury: pushed me through the process. And so, rather than because then, I went through a lot of the things that Golda alluded to like I
Maria Chowdhury: what the if I'm not helping people have a baby, I have no reason to be here like if they had, if there truly are gates at heaven, and you rattle the gate, and they're like, Oh, she's a midwife. Let her in like, you know. Now I'm not that. Oh, you're not doing anything anymore. So so that that, surrendering it to spirit and have something bigger than me put me in the space, and then something bigger than me help me move through the space
Maria Chowdhury: was really helpful rather than me quitting or letting people down, or all the things on the list, although I felt all those things I also felt held by something bigger. So that surrender piece, the surrender and being held by something bigger.
Maria Chowdhury: Yeah, that's what. But mostly to me as I'm transitioning as a new identity and showing up in a new way.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yes, yes, thank you for sharing that. Yeah, again, surrender isn't easy.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): even when we know it, even when it's so clear. Good in the chat, Jennifer saying health and well being above all else. Yes.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for Susan, when things are full, there is no space for something else to happen. Yes, or Amy. When things are also when things are full, the universe can't make space.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): My client is strong enough, and I am strong enough. Yes, better to have less and have it be aligned. then to have more and have it be misaligned. Yeah.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): yeah, good.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): how do we help our clients make hard decisions
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): about releasing something or letting something go or stepping into a winter phase of, you know, rest
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): sabbatical, whatever it is
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we already have. We've already learned all the skills but I'm gonna kinda look at some of the skills that we've learned already in this program and apply it specifically to this situation.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Number one. And I think this this one is one of the most important things.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): No attachment to outcome.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The moment we get attached to.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): they need to find a new job wi by the 6 months right? Or they need to bring in 10 clients by the the or they need to find their ideal relationship right like whatever the the stated goals are. Yes, of course, we're helping to move them towards it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): but part of the process of moving them towards it might be that they need to let go of something, or or take a break or take a pause, but the moment we get attached to the outcome and to the outcome in this amount of time, then we
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): are. It's like we've put on a blindfold to to be able to really hear what's going on for our client, and what they need next.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So, and along with that and the other thing I think that's so important is for us to remember that there's always more than one way to reach a goal.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): If we get attached to the strategy
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that also. Then we end up with blinders on to see if it's a moment for mystery or letting go or rest.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Misha's saying in the chat. I experienced this with money. When I attach to that outcome. I feel like I have a blindfold on. II know that experience as well, Nisha, I'm glad you're sharing that
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): as I said earlier, but I'm just gonna underline it again. Always
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): keep your clients well-being top of mind, and take a stand for their their well-being.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): create awareness.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): This is a big one. oftentimes, for all of the reasons and all of the things that we looked at already on our call today. Oftentimes our clients don't have the awareness.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): but they can stop
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that. They can slow down, that it's okay not to know that they'll be okay if they release
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right? Th th. This wisdom that we've been looking at today again because of culture, our clients literally may not know this.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And so part of our work is to co-create awareness, whether it's through reflection or asking questions, right? What whatever it is.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And I think just the other thing I want to say on that is.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): sometimes will create awareness, and the client will really see it. Okay, I can stop. And then sometimes the next thing after that is
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): okay. But I'm scared right, and then we might do a befriend your fear or another one of the techniques that we've looked at
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or rewiring, right? So any of that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'm sharing these, by the way, in no particular order, like the chaos of the mystery itself.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): one thing that I have found
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is really helpful for people to be able to step into letting go of something
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to honor before releasing.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So what that means is. And this goes back to the seasons, too.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's really hard to let go of something if we haven't harvested it. If we haven't like really taken in.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): even if it's the worst thing in the world like the shittiest romantic relationship that needs to go. It is hard to release if we don't at least honor what we've learned from that relationship, or how it's served
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): up until now.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Right? So whenever I do any release work, whether it's just cognitively in a conversation with a client, whether it's ritually and we're we're releasing ritually before the the release in the ritual
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or the decision to let go, or in the process of the letting go. There is an honoring right. How did this serve? What were the lessons? What from this? Do you wanna hold on to that. That will still
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): serve you or take you through right?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): How do you?
Bruce | artichokedove.com: I just. And I just dump. What's that?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I think Bruce didn't realize he was off. Mute.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Bruce, are you trying to share something, or do you just keep on by mistake, taking yourself off mute?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, that's what I thought.
Bruce | artichokedove.com: sometimes another book.
Bruce | artichokedove.com: Good record.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): sometimes another way that or something that can help a client
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): move in to a releasing, a letting go a winter phase is asking a question like.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What's a triumph story that you have already around release or
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): winter, or being in the mystery not being clear. When has that worked out for you? Ultimately.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I already said, challenging cultural norms? You know, we've spoken about a bunch in this call and in myth of perfection and other calls I can't remember
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): if we spoke about challenging the particular norm of
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): meritocracy right? So, going back to what Golda was sharing before that II am a person of merit, or value, or significance, or whatever only if I am producing
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): only if I am achieving. It's one that goes so deep and another one. I think we spoke about this in myth of perfection, but just as a reminder hierarchical thinking.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): The person who has more money is better than the person who has less the person that has achieved more or gotten the promotion. Promotion is better right. It's like, our whole society is based on hierarchy, and
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): because of that it it denies the importance of autumn and winter right? So challenging some of those norms really important.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): We looked at this envisioning. I just wanna bring it forward again, clarifying values and priorities and what people really want from life.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): when I go in when personally, when I go into my fear like more, more, more, more and bigger business. Blah blah blah! You know all the things, and some of that is great right, like some of that really is aligned. But when I'm in that place I'm disconnected from some of the things that I really want from life, which is space.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): which is opportunity to experience pleasure, which is deepened, friendship. right, etc.,
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): so clarifying and re-clarifying and coming back to priorities values what your client really wants from life
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): a. As a part of that defining, we looked at the importance of deaf definitions. So asking a client to define certain terms like abundance.
What you know is abundance, only more money? Or what? What does that mean to you, or define success? Right that can help
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or define happiness that sometimes can also create awareness and help clients disconnect from those cultural norms?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): When they define it in their own term
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we could spend many weeks on grief.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And so you know, I what I'm just gonna say for now.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): sometimes
just holding space.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): acknowledging the pain of letting something go.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and then
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): giving not that we give client permission, but allowing clients agency for grief, and then holding space for a client to feel
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): the loss that can.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): because being able to experience
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): grief and healthy ways, can move, help someone move towards. I'm ready to let something go. Sometimes the letting go happens first and then the grief, other times starting. The grieving process can help someone let go of something that they're ready to let go of.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and then
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): this is one of my favorite things. So
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): well, first up we'll go back to the seasons for a moment. So there's one other thing that we do. There's many things we do in the harvest. One, like, I said, is enjoy the fruits of the labor.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But the other, another thing that we do in the harvest is as we're enjoying the fruits of our labor. We're also deciding what we're saving
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for the long winter.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right? Because we we know there's not gonna be the growth during that season. And so we might be really enjoying an apple. But we're also putting some apples in the silo
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): right and
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So to kind of extend this metaphor, I find often
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): with clients that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): giving a little space, just asking a question around, you know what are the resources that you will still have
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): through winter. and even at the end helps create courage to be able to move into it.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): At on a related note, this is a little game that I play with myself, and I ask this sometimes for clients when it when they need it, cause I tend towards catastrophic thinking, as you all already know, and so when I go into my fear that everything is gonna fall apart, and if I don't
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): keep on marketing, or this or that, or the other thing. It's just like there's gonna be nothing what I will do is I'll make a list.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Write it out of everything that I have.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): that nobody can take away from me
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): all the knowledge that I have, the heart that I have, my values, the wisdom, the fit right? Like all of that, because these are things that remind me that if should everything fall apart.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I have resources to rebuild.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Okay.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So we have a few minutes left.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): First of all, I wanna let me share your homework with you. And again you'll get your sheets and then I wanna open up for shares and questions and last thoughts, but a couple of pieces of homework. I wanna pull out
number one. If you're working with clients.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Make a list
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): of
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): each client and think about. Is there a place where they might be ready for winter? And, by the way, like we don't have to go into winter in all areas of our life, or all areas of our business, or all areas of our career. Right? But consider, because maybe you haven't been willing to see until now. Right? So take a look at that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Another piece of homework that I'd love for you to do is to give yourself 3 journaling questions based on what came through for you today.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So what are 3 questions that you would like to journal on, based on some things that came through
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): if you would like to. I also wanna invite you to do a befriend your fear, but not with a fear.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I wanna invite you to dialogue with the mystery.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): deepen your relationship with the archetypal energy of mystery.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and then in your partner calls explore more on the topics. We looked at today. Maybe there's something that your coaching partner is ready to let go of, or a way that they're ready to slow down, etc.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'd love to hear what you're taking from our call, or what questions that you have.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'd like to share.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Nisha seeing in the chat. I heard this question the other day. What do you know about yourself that no one can argue with? I love that, too. Yeah, it's related to the resources.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And Golda, with that same topic that we were on, wrote out those on a little on little paper, and put them in a jewel sack and took them on your Sabbatical. I love that, too.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Juniper.
Juniper | Alchemessence: Yeah, I
Juniper | Alchemessence: I'm hoping to get a little guidance around what we do once the
Juniper | Alchemessence: winter is entered. And and part of this comes from just a negative experience I had in the past
Juniper | Alchemessence: where a coach helped me enter a winter, and then it's like I got it. I was like great. I know how to rest, and I fully accept that it's time to rest. And then we had all these sessions and like.
Juniper | Alchemessence: and I would just show up and be open. And she did not know what to do with me, because there was nothing to be working towards, and I feel like with this program, like
Juniper | Alchemessence: I've already held space for friends, with just listening and reflecting when they've been in the winter in a new way. But I still feel a little fear actually, around the client relationship. I think because of that past
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): experience. Yeah, that's such a great question. I'll toss some things. But before I do, let me ask you this, looking back now
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): on that experience.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what did you need during that time when you were in the winter phase beyond the rest.
Juniper | Alchemessence: What else did you need?
Juniper | Alchemessence: II feel, like, I,
Juniper | Alchemessence: you know, it was a time for me to really
Juniper | Alchemessence: be with my grief and needing to heal.
Juniper | Alchemessence: And
Juniper | Alchemessence: it's and I honestly, I'm not even sure what I needed, because I tried so much, and nothing really seemed to work except time. So just
Juniper | Alchemessence: maybe not seeing anybody at all is what I needed.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Yeah, so that is one possibility. Right? So first of all, there's lots of different kinds of winter phases. Some are like complete. I need to pause. Everything, be, you know, be with the grief and nothing else. Some winter phases are about. I just I need to let go of this thing or not keep on working on that, so I can make space for the other thing every now and again.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): This is not most of the time when a client goes into a winter phase every now and again, though.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): It's a moment to freeze the coaching
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): for a period of time, because, like what Juniper is saying, sometimes it's just like nothing can happen, and it's just time
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): but that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So I'm putting that out there for all of us to know that is a thing. But that's that's an exception.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So so when you know every situation is gonna be different.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Sometimes
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): what a client is going to need is support and container and inspiration and hand holding to actually stay in the winter period.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): to not take on more and to find inside of themselves their their value, or their trust, or their confidence, or whatever it is they? They need their resilience
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): as they're in that winter period. Right? So it might be a time for more deeper, inner work to really befriend any of the fears that were previously keeping the client, and go go and push, push, mode
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): or
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): support to just hold that space for reading as well, so that's that's one of the big pieces that can happen during this.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): a couple of other things I'll share and toss out
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Sometimes it's about
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): letting go of one thing or taking a pause on one thing, but not that everything is in a winter phase. And so it's about being really clear on what are the things that are still moving forward? And then what isn't, and focusing on those?
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): And then the other thing. I spoke a little bit about this earlier.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I tend to think of the winter.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and we see this. If we kind of look seasonally
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): is, there's 2 phases of winter.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): There's the the phase of winter with the most
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): nighttime hours. That's winter solstice to February first to imulk or groundhogs day
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and that's like the that's the deepest winter, the the least daylight, and the most night, you know, we really can't see.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): But then the second half of winter is from groundhogs day until spring equinox.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): and now it's still more dark than light out. But
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): we're starting to see shadows of things there. There is more light, and it's a beautiful time for visioning what's next.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): So it's not like, nothing happens during that winter phase.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): What are some thoughts that are sparking for you, juniper juniper as I'm sharing all of this.
Juniper | Alchemessence: Well, I think it's helpful to hear that maybe my experience was the exception and not the rule, just as background and
Juniper | Alchemessence: the
Juniper | Alchemessence: the phases of the winter, like the different parts of the season, like really tuning into.
Juniper | Alchemessence: Is it that transition from fall where you're deciding what comes with you. Is it the depths of winter where there's a spaciousness? Is it
Juniper | Alchemessence: the shimmers of spring coming back, I think.
Juniper | Alchemessence: Just having that
Juniper | Alchemessence: awareness is helpful, too, in knowing or guiding. You know how we respond in each session. Yeah, yeah.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): I'm so glad you asked that.
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): Alright everybody. I am sending you all a lot of love. And yeah, and just
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): wishes for taking everything that we looked at today deep into your heart and your body. And like mica said earlier, knowing that this is this is our wholeness and completeness is the doing and also the not doing. We get to be all of it
Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her): alright, sending you all lots of love. I'll see you soon.