00:02:14	Inbal Sansani:	Yeah, I think of a lot of things as 'labor'.
00:03:19	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Reacted to "Yeah, I think of a l..." with 👍🏼
00:10:14	Inbal Sansani:	What were the categories, Kim?
00:10:27	Inbal Sansani:	I got - my values, other's opinions, what do I need
00:10:58	Kim Davies:	My values, my dreams, how do I want to feel, what do I need to feel loved
00:11:21	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "My values, my dreams..." with 🙏🏼
00:15:53	Vlada Tomova:	Yes!!!!
00:18:22	Veronica Jensen:	competing priorities
00:18:36	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	past experiences, trauma (leading to too rigid)
00:18:37	Monique:	survival
00:18:40	Inbal Sansani:	Fear -- of disconnection, not belonging, being ostractized
00:18:49	jessicakuznick:	We haven't put in the supports we need to do it well
00:18:56	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	fear of not belonging and being isolated (weak)
00:19:58	jessicakuznick:	Sense of "duty"
00:20:14	Vlada Tomova:	choosing shit sandwiches
00:20:16	Inbal Sansani:	Not wanting to be 'that' -- selfish, etc.
00:20:41	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	or the flip of Inbal’s comment, wanting to be the best, most giving, most awesome!
00:21:07	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	wanting to matter
00:21:09	Tina Dowdy:	not connected to our core values makes it hard to set boundaries
00:21:14	Veronica Jensen:	feeling like we need to earn our place
00:21:19	Inbal Sansani:	Tied to sense of purpose and value in world
00:21:25	Wendy:	Wanting to be accepted and loved
00:21:53	jessicakuznick:	Belief that doing something well has to feel hard
00:21:58	pollymolly:	Old habits
00:24:59	Tina Dowdy:	yes where it concerns siblings and parents. We become used to the role we have in the family - and when we are the one who evolves - we let go of that role but the problem is - they still see you in that role
00:25:20	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "yes where it concern..." with 💯
00:25:22	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "yes where it concern..." with 👍
00:25:29	Inbal Sansani:	Replying to "yes where it concern..."

Constant work!
00:25:34	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Replying to "yes where it concern..."

so true...
00:25:40	Wendy:	Reacted to "yes where it concern..." with 👍
00:25:48	Gregg Berman:	Reacted to "yes where it concern..." with ❤️
00:26:41	Gregg Berman:	Replying to "yes where it concern..."

@Tina Dowdy, yes, I have two clients in specific where that dynamic is coming up now.
00:27:39	Tina Dowdy:	Reacted to "@Tina Dowdy, yes, I ..." with 💜
00:28:34	Gregg Berman:	Replying to "yes where it concern..."

and when family still holds the roll, then the person can struggle to fully let go of it themselves and set those clear boundaries.
00:28:43	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "and when family stil..." with 💯
00:45:40	Gregg Berman:	“procrastination”, that term sounds so familiar for some reason!?!
00:45:59	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "“procrastination”, t..." with 😆
00:46:31	Nicole Harris:	Reacted to "“procrastination”, t..." with 😆
00:47:10	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Reacted to "“procrastination”, t..." with ❤️
00:47:18	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "“procrastination”, t..." with 😉
00:48:09	Gregg Berman:	Reacted to "“procrastination”, t..." with 😉
00:53:16	Inbal Sansani:	OMG, I was going to say that!
00:53:35	Inbal Sansani:	But I was more thinking of people saying, "I barely studied!" I forgot to study, etc. -- to protect from not doing well or a bad grade.
00:54:07	Michelle Ritter-Taylor:	I’m curious what happens when there is a mismatch between perceptions of ability and actual ability and how that relates to procrastination?
00:55:41	Caroline Holke:	ability + effort => performance
Performance => achievement
Achievement => self worth

Procrastination protects self worth (didn't put the effort in)
00:56:14	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "I’m curious what hap..." with 🧐
00:56:33	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Reacted to "ability + effort => ..." with ❤️
00:56:51	Kim Davies:	Excellent point Gregg!
00:56:53	Vlada Tomova:	Oooh .. I had missed the doubt in worthiness part .. grateful for the clarification!
00:57:38	Gregg Berman:	Reacted to "Excellent point Greg..." with 🤗
00:58:34	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "Excellent point Greg..." with 💯
01:00:08	Karlita:	Was it Nic Voge?
01:00:09	Karlita:	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52lZmIafep4
01:01:26	Michelle Ritter-Taylor:	Replying to "But I was more think..."

Sounds like self-handicapping
01:01:38	Gregg Berman:	Here’s one related book I’ve recently been reading on the topic: https://a.co/d/jkql5a7
01:01:59	Gregg Berman:	Replying to "Here’s one related b..."

Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life
01:03:31	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "Here’s one related b..." with 🙏🏼
01:04:11	Monique:	Reacted to "https://www.youtube...." with 👍🏼
01:04:16	Monique:	Reacted to "Here’s one related b..." with 👍🏼
01:05:42	Karlita Nabours-Palermo:	But how to Take. That. In…
01:05:56	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "But how to Take. Tha..." with ❗
01:06:06	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "But how to Take. Tha..." with ❗
01:06:08	Caroline Holke:	@Kelly Lubeck (she/her) this is what I do. The threat of "not doing it right" or whatever stops me from doing the thing until the threat of the deadline is bigger than what others will say or what I will say to myself.
01:06:21	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "@Kelly Lubeck (she/h..." with 💯
01:06:22	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "@Kelly Lubeck (she/h..." with 💯
01:07:06	Caroline Holke:	...and then the cycle gets reinforced with "I work well under pressure"
01:07:48	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	What Gregg just said is a great technique for parenting - to help support self-esteem and self-wroth - to recognize effort rather than recognizing the end result… it actually builds a more solid esteem in children.
01:08:06	Wendy:	Reacted to "What Gregg just said..." with 👍
01:08:19	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Reacted to "@Kelly Lubeck (she/h..." with 💯
01:08:26	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Replying to "@Kelly Lubeck (she/h..."

Yes, totally!
01:08:38	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "What Gregg just said..." with 👍
01:08:44	Caroline Holke:	Reacted to "What Gregg just said..." with 👍
01:08:48	Gregg Berman:	Reacted to "What Gregg just said..." with 💯
01:10:00	Inbal Sansani:	This is very interesting!
01:10:08	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Replying to "...and then the cycl..."

yep...
01:10:08	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "What Gregg just said..." with 💯
01:12:23	Veronica Jensen:	That was the popular parenting message when I was a kid - praise kids for perceived traits instead of effort/action. They thought they were instilling self-esteem. Instead it just created a belief that I 'should' be smart and if I don't know how to do this or if it takes a lot of effort it means that I'm not 'smart,' so I'm not going to do the thing and prove it.
01:12:43	jessicakuznick:	Yes.. Carol Dweck writes about this.
01:14:12	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Replying to "That was the popular..."

Yes! I think this newer approach grew out of that - and the recognition that this old way actually really held us back!
01:14:25	jessicakuznick:	Fixed Mind Set vs. Growth Mind Set
01:14:36	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "Yes! I think this ne..." with 💯
01:14:47	Karlita Nabours-Palermo:	I think in our *culture* we’re set up for unworthiness. I don’t think it’s actually universal.
01:14:57	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "I think in our *cult..." with 💯
01:14:58	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "I think in our *cult..." with 💯
01:15:35	Caroline Holke:	And there is a natural filter that people who are drawn to self development for a reason (feel better, feel enough).
01:16:21	Deva Munay:	https://www.audible.com/pd/B01AY90VYQ?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=player_overflow

This book really helped me understand the core wound of unworthiness
01:16:49	Gregg Berman:	I wrote a post about that last week Tina.
01:17:15	Suzanne Culberg:	Replying to "https://www.audible...."

what is the title please?
01:17:26	Tina Dowdy:	Reacted to "I wrote a post about..." with 💜
01:17:34	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	So much of this feels related to the nervous system and our sense of safety and belong in the world. Nervous system healing every day changes our relationship to the world… (self-care being part of that)  And all of these techniques fall into that category as well. (I’m still in awe of how much overlap there is...)
01:17:47	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "So much of this feel..." with 💖
01:17:49	Deva Munay:	“Healing the Core Wound of Unworthiness The Gift of Redemptive Love” by Adyashanti
01:17:59	Kim Davies:	Replying to "https://www.audible...."

Healing the core wound of unworthiness by Adyashanti
01:18:19	Tina Dowdy:	Replying to "I wrote a post about..."

thank you - I will check it out
01:18:25	Tina Dowdy:	Reacted to "https://www.audible...." with 💜
01:19:01	Inbal Sansani:	Replying to "I wrote a post about..."

Gregg, would you be willing to share the link?
01:19:08	Vlada Tomova:	Replying to "...and then the cycl…"
exactly!
01:19:23	Deva Munay:	Reacted to "...and then the cycl…" with 😒
01:19:59	jessicakuznick:	YES!!!!
01:20:15	Inbal Sansani:	Or the "30 under 30" . . .
01:20:18	Karlita Nabours-Palermo:	Reacted to "https://www.audible...." with 💜
01:20:20	Vlada Tomova:	Reacted to "“Healing the Core Wo…" with ❤️
01:20:23	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	OMG yes!! give me real people.
01:20:24	Tina Dowdy:	Replying to "So much of this feel..."

Yes - its all about nervous system healing.
01:20:29	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	and people in the messy
01:20:31	Nicole Harris:	Reacted to "Or the "30 under 30"..." with 👍
01:20:54	Caroline Holke:	Reacted to "So much of this feel..." with ❤️
01:21:06	Kim Davies:	Replying to "So much of this feel..."

Yes, and why your work is so important and needed!
01:21:11	Suzanne Culberg:	Reacted to "“Healing the Core Wo..." with ❤️
01:21:15	Suzanne Culberg:	Replying to "“Healing the Core Wo..."

Thank you
01:21:28	Tina Dowdy:	Reacted to "Yes, and why your wo..." with 💜
01:21:49	Tina Dowdy:	Reacted to "“Healing the Core Wo..." with ❤️
01:22:21	Tina Dowdy:	Reacted to "...and then the cycl..." with 👍
01:23:54	Gregg Berman:	Replying to "I wrote a post about..."

https://www.inconnectionwithnature.com/blog/2024/4/23/the-dark-side-of-practicing-gratitude-amp-what-you-can-do-instead
01:24:34	Gregg Berman:	Replying to "I wrote a post about..."

Thanks for asking Inbal and as a bonus, I’m not a billionaire! 😃
01:24:47	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "Thanks for asking In..." with 😆
01:24:56	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "Thanks for asking In..." with 😆
01:25:10	Gregg Berman:	Replying to "I wrote a post about..."

There’s a follow up that I’ll post tonight.
01:25:11	Inbal Sansani:	Replying to "I wrote a post about..."

@Gregg Berman LOL, amazing! Can't wait to read it!
01:25:23	Gregg Berman:	Reacted to "@Gregg Berman LOL, a..." with ❤️
01:25:59	Inbal Sansani:	I so resonate and want to remember that for myself -- that my life is so messy and I don't have the outer measures of 'success' AND . . . I also try to live in aligned ways, etc.
01:26:24	Vlada Tomova:	Reacted to "So much of this feel…" with ❤️
01:26:39	Vlada Tomova:	Reacted to "Yes, and why your wo…" with ❤️
01:26:40	Gregg Berman:	Reacted to "“Healing the Core Wo..." with ❤️
01:27:06	Karlita Nabours-Palermo:	Reacted to "I so resonate and wa..." with 💜
01:27:08	Gregg Berman:	Reacted to "So much of this feel..." with ❤️
01:27:18	jessicakuznick:	Oh god! That is SOOOOO true!
01:27:25	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	So true, wow.
01:27:34	Karlita Nabours-Palermo:	Please write that book title, Inbal!
01:27:38	Karlita Nabours-Palermo:	Privilege?
01:27:56	Gregg Berman:	Inbal, what was that book or article?
01:28:12	Inbal Sansani:	Privilege by Shamus Khan
01:28:24	Karlita Nabours-Palermo:	Reacted to "Privilege by Shamus ..." with 👍🏼
01:28:40	Inbal Sansani:	Haven't read it, what I shared was in a tweet; I'll see if I can share the tweet.
01:28:47	Inbal Sansani:	But added it to my list. ;)
01:28:58	Karlita Nabours-Palermo:	Reacted to "Haven't read it, wha..." with 👍🏼
01:28:59	Gregg Berman:	Reacted to "But added it to my l..." with ❤️
01:33:08	Gregg Berman:	I’ve seen this video many times as it’s been so resonant in my life! 😆
01:33:18	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "I’ve seen this video..." with 💯
01:33:57	Tina Dowdy:	easy and fun sounds like escapism
01:34:57	Tina Dowdy:	Replying to "easy and fun sounds ..."

in this case
01:36:06	Gregg Berman:	Or when you don’t even partake of the dark playground because of that fear and guilt. So you don’t get things done and you don’t play.
01:36:47	Tina Dowdy:	Reacted to "Or when you don’t ev..." with 💜
01:37:30	Gregg Berman:	Just out of curiosity are others hearing this the way i am? I can hear his voice but nothing of the audience response which is not how the video actually sounds.
01:37:32	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "Or when you don’t ev..." with 💜
01:37:37	Veronica Jensen:	Replying to "Just out of curiosit..."

same
01:37:57	Gregg Berman:	Reacted to "same" with 👍🏽
01:38:00	Tina Dowdy:	Replying to "Just out of curiosit..."

me too
01:42:34	Tina Dowdy:	Joanna can you give us the link to that YouTube please?
01:42:59	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	loved the visuals and the archetypes he engaged
01:43:04	Joanna Lindenbaum (she/her):	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj7oStGLkU&t=10s
01:43:10	Vlada Tomova:	I want to cry .. in despair
01:43:15	Caroline’s iPhone:	I guess I’m normal 😕
01:43:22	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	related so so much
01:43:27	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "related so so much" with 💯
01:43:27	Tina Dowdy:	Reacted to "https://www.youtube...." with ❤️
01:43:30	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "I want to cry .. in ..." with 💔
01:43:34	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "related so so much" with 💯
01:43:51	Caroline’s iPhone:	Reacted to "related so so much" with 💯
01:44:12	Inbal Sansani:	This is kind of hard; I've seen it before and now I'm like, This is why I don't have a stable/successful business.
01:44:26	Inbal Sansani:	Replying to "loved the visuals an..."

Loved how basic the drawings were!
01:44:31	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "I want to cry .. in ..." with 💔
01:45:17	Gregg Berman:	Replying to "loved the visuals an..."

@Inbal Sansani those were not drawings, they were MRI images. 😜
01:45:25	jessicakuznick:	I find ways to create deadlines!
01:45:38	Wendy:	Reacted to "@Inbal Sansani those..." with 😂
01:45:44	Caroline’s iPhone:	Replying to "This is kind of hard…"
Me too!!!
01:45:49	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Reacted to "@Inbal Sansani those..." with 😂
01:45:51	Nicole Harris:	Reacted to "@Inbal Sansani those..." with 😂
01:46:01	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "This is kind of hard..." with ❗
01:46:08	Veronica Jensen:	Replying to "This is kind of hard..."

+1000
01:46:26	Vlada Tomova:	Reacted to "@Inbal Sansani those…" with 😂
01:46:26	Nicole Harris:	Reacted to "This is kind of hard..." with ❗
01:46:32	Nicole Harris:	Reacted to "This is kind of hard..." with 🤗
01:46:40	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Replying to "This is kind of hard..."

Yep. and it’s procrastinating on some really important things but not looking like it, because i’m motoring on others...
01:47:25	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "Yep. and it’s procra..." with 💯
01:49:53	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "Yep. and it’s procra..." with 💯
01:49:54	Veronica Jensen:	Reacted to "This is kind of hard..." with 🤗
01:50:51	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Yes, that relates very much, Joanna. I don’t have so much instant gratification monkey but the rest monkey for sure.
01:51:09	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Replying to "Yes, that relates ve..."

but i can absolutely procrastinate - it’s just not from the pleasure place!
01:51:36	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "Yes, that relates ve..." with 💯
01:51:43	Inbal Sansani:	Reacted to "but i can absolutely..." with 💯
01:51:44	Tina Dowdy:	my body demands the rest monkey too.
01:51:45	Vlada Tomova:	Reacted to "This is kind of hard…" with 💕
01:52:37	Tina Dowdy:	Replying to "Yes, that relates ve..."

same
01:53:02	Tina Dowdy:	Reacted to "I find ways to creat..." with 👍
01:57:11	Inbal Sansani:	https://twitter.com/Tyler_A_Harper/status/1786052459565081044

(This is the tweet I read from regarding the book Privilege)
01:58:22	Karlita Nabours-Palermo:	Reacted to "https://twitter.com/..." with 👍🏼
01:58:44	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	Reacted to "https://twitter.com/..." with ❤️
01:59:28	Gregg Berman:	Reacted to "https://twitter.com/..." with 👍🏽
02:02:06	Kelly Lubeck (she/her):	SO so rich. Y’all are amazing!
02:02:58	Tina Dowdy:	I joined embody!!!